Unimagined

Trip Data: 'Unimagined' US Speaking Tour

TOTAL MILES: 13,944 miles

 

of which

 

Toyota Prius:  13,934 miles

 

Mazda 6: ~10 miles

 

 

Number of police interactions:  0

 

Number of road rage incidents:  0

 

 

 

TOTAL NIGHTS: 51

 

of which:

 

Hotels: 29

Family: 7

Friends: 5

Friends/family of friends/family: 4

Hosts/Strangers: 6

Boeing 777: 1

 

Best budget hotel/motel chain: Super 8

 

Best non-budget hotel chain: Sheraton

 

 

 

Most Visited Food Outlet:  Starbucks

 

Favourite Affordable Place to Eat:  Red Lobster

 

Favourite Fast Food:  Chinese Buffet (various)

 

Favourite Non-Chain:  Raffe's Deli & Beer Garden (Memphis)

 

 

 

AUDIOBOOKS listened to:

 

Dreams of my Father:  Barack Obama, read by the author.

(Note: President Obama is very good at doing funny accents.)

 

Eat, Pray, Love:  Elizabeth Gilbert, read by the author.

 

Three Cups of Tea:  Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin, read by Patrick Lawlor.

(Greg and I have something in common; we both had an event early on in our speaking careers where no-one showed up.)

 

The Universe in a Single Atom:  the Dalai Lama, read by Richard Gere.

(I had to keep reminding myself this was not about Richard Gere.)

 

The Wisdom of Joseph Campbell:  Joseph Campbell and Michael Toms

 

The Four Agreements:  Miguel Ruiz

(I wish I'd known these years ago.)

 

Tao Te Ching: A New English Version:  Lao Tzu and Stephen Mitchell 

 

 

Biggest surprise crowd:  Boise, Idaho

 

Most disappointing turnout:  Houston (Easter Sunday)

 

 

 

Best Customer Service: 

 

Hertz - Maria, Chicago O'Hare

Hertz - Scott, Charleston Airport

Week 8: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip skeleton blog

MONDAY 4 MAY

 

- Bill is going into work late, so I don't have to rush to get ready.  Still, it takes time to get everything together.

- Say good bye to his family in the morning, then follow him into Madison. 

- Have a walk around this delightful student town.  It's a beautiful day.  I'm sure that in my casual clothes, I blend right in with the students -- they'll assume I'm just one of them.

- Bill buys me a latte from a cozy non-chain coffee shop, and then we say goodbye.  (The last time was in 1984.)

- It's only 150 miles to Chicago.

- I forgot about the tolls.  I'm running dangerously short of change.  Some of the toll road exits say 'No attendant', which means that you must have coins. 

- Fortunately, the ones I pass through are always manned.

- (The Prius had an E-Z Pass electronic toll pass when I first rented it, but when I surrendered the car in South Carolina and then retrieved it, this had been removed by Hertz.)

- I return to the Chicago O'Hare Garden Hotel, from where I started this voyage.

- There's a Prius in the car park, with the Michigan license plate 'END WAR' and an astonishing array of anti-war, anti-imperialism stickers on the bumper.  'Who would Jesus bomb?'  'War is terrorism with a bigger budget.'  It takes courage to drive around like this. 

 

 

- I go to say hello to the manager of the hotel, in her office (I had given her a copy of my book last time.)  Mary says: 'I loved your book.  I gave it to my mother -- she loved it.  Then my sister read it -- she loved it.  Now my other sister's reading it.'

- Huh -- they could have bought their own copies! 

- Shave, shower, change in a hurry and head to Oak Park, to the Frank Lloyd Wright architected Unity Temple.

 

 

- Rev Alan Taylor is there and takes me to dinner.

- The audience appreciate my talk -- I have woven anecdotes from my US odyssey into the narrative.

- Return to hotel and feel a wave of exhaustion.

 

 

 

TUESDAY 5 MAY

 

- Awake and go straight to Mac's Diner, for my traditional American breakfast, including the giant hash brown.

 

 

- Return to hotel and carefully empty contents of Prius into room. The Prius was like one giant suitcase I lived out of.

- In room, pack everything into just two suitcases. 

- So many people gave me copies of books on this trip. Books are heavy!

- Say good bye to Mary, depart hotel and drive to Hertz Rental Return at Chicago O'Hare Airport.

- Decline to have the car checked back in; instead, park it and go inside to speak to a manager.

 

- I have been dreading this conversation -- what a long story. 

- Maria listens patiently: I rented the Prius from O'Hare (first rental agreement); broke down in South Carolina; Hertz arranged for a taxi to take me to Charleston Airport, for which I had to pay $70 cash; at Charleston Airport they gave me a Mazda 6 (second rental agreement); then, the next morning I got the same Prius back (after they had towed it to Charleston Airport and put some gas in it) (third rental agreement); then I ran out of gas in the desert in Arizona and Hertz said they would charge me $77 to have someone bring me gas; but this was so NOT my fault; there's something wrong with the fuel gauge on this car; when the warning light flashes, you're supposed to have three gallons left; I asked other Prius drivers, and they said that was right; but on this car, when the light flashes, it's already too late; I'm not stupid, I wouldn't have gone into the desert without gas.

- Maria listens patiently, then goes on the system and credits me back the $70 taxi fare and the $77 bring-gas-in-the-desert charge.

- She asks me if I'm done with the car, and says she can check it back in.  'What's the return mileage?'  (The system shows the Miles Out figure was 1387).

- I tell her: '15,321 miles'.

- She's been really sharp to this point, but now she just looks at me blankly, or is that a slightly pained expression?

- She's been so nice, I give her a signed copy of my book, with a really grateful inscription.

 

 

- Haul my two heavy suitcases, briefcase and computer bag to Hertz shuttle bus.

- At BA Fast Bag Drop, check-in with no wait. 

- Security seems a bit frantic, but proceeds easily enough.

- On flight, sleep.

 

 

 

WEDNESDAY 6 MAY ONWARDS

 

- Sleep for two days.

- Update this damn blog.

- Resume search for new job.

Week 7: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

Monday 27 April

 

- Awake early, grab muffins from hotel for breakfast and hit the road to Idaho.

- Drive 500 miles to Boise.

- Check-in at Springhill Marriot Suites in Boise with only about 40 minutes before my host collects me.  Note with gratitude that they have booked me in for two nights.  I could do with a rest.

- Shave, shower, dress.

- Greg meets me in the lobby and drives me to the church.

- People are arriving already.

 

- I meet the Rev and compose myself in the office.  I feel pretty tired after that drive.

- More people keep coming.

- This looks like a surprisingly big crowd!

- The Rev says that at least 50% are not from the congregation.

- I deliver my talk with all my energy -- I give it my very best.

- It goes very well.

- A queue forms for the book signing.  I hear a voice somewhere declare with disappointment: 'You've sold out?'  Hey, don't forget Amazon, sir.  This is a wonderful experience.  Could I have imagined this when I was getting those rejection slips from literary agents back in 2005?

- Mike takes me back to the hotel.  It's 10 pm. 

- I drive around looking for a restaurant that's open, give up, go to the nearby Burger King drive-through, take my meal back to the suite, lie on the sofa watching 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report' and then sleep on the sofa until the early hours. 

- Wake up and go to bed.

 

 

Tuesday 28 April

 

- Wake up in time for breakfast, which ends at 9 am. Freshly made waffles, scrambled eggs, brown toast, whole meal bagels, English muffins, fruit -- it's all good.

- I was going to spend three days driving to my next event, in Iowa (1400 miles away), but I think I'll rest in Boise today and do it over two days.  I need a rest.

- Go back to bed and sleep until early afternoon.

- Shower ...  

- There is no bath mat and the soap is very slippery ...

- My left foot slips and acquires a very high velocity, the big toe slamming into that stupid elevated metal ring thing they have invented to replace rubber bath plugs....

- KE equals half MV squared .....

- Pressure equals force over surface area ....

- 'YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!'

-  Ow, that really hurts. 

- There's blood everywhere, gushing from under my big toe nail.  It's washing down the drainhole.  It reminds me of the shower scene in Psycho.

   

- I wash the toe thoroughly in hot water, dry it with a clean towel, wrap it in tissues and put on an ankle sock (which I brought in case I did any exercise, huh!).  Blood soaks through the tissues to the sock, but the bleeding does appear to stop.  

 

This being America, I'm going to sue:

- The Marriott hotel for not having a warning sign about such a possibility.

- The designer and manufacturer of the bath fittings (to be determined).

- The manufacturer of the soap, for making it so slippery (tbd).

- The Boise Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, for booking me into this hotel.

- Hertz car rental, for not warning me about this possibility when they rented me the car which brought me to Idaho.

- Toyota, for not warning me about this possibility when they built the car which brought me to Idaho.

- The oil companies, for not warning me about this possibility when they sold me the gas which brought me to Idaho.  Have to check all my receipts, but the list definitely includes: BP, Shell, Conoco. 

- McDonalds, for not warning me about this when they provided me with wireless internet access on my way to Idaho, and because they make their coffee too hot, and anyway don't they always settle?

 

 

- Do my laundry.

- Work on this damn blog.

- Do a job application for when this is all over and I have to return to normal life.

- Spend all day in hotel, apart from driving to Burger King and getting another takeaway.  Stop it -- this is not a movie called 'Super Size Me'. 

- Sleep.

 

 

 

Wednesday 29 April

 

- Awake early, breakfast and hit the road to Iowa. 

- Drive through Utah and Wyoming.

- I am determined to do 900 miles today, leaving only 500 miles tomorrow.

- Nothing to report, except some spectacular rock formations in Utah.

- Stop for an early dinner in a Chinese buffet restaurant.  These are much better than the KFC buffets, I have discovered.

- Drive through the evening into Nebraska.

- Finally, after midnight, when the GPS says I'm 460 miles from my destination, pull into a Super 8 motel and sleep a few hours.   

 

 

 

Thursday 30 April

 

- Awake, have breakfast of toasted bagels and depart for Iowa.

- I don't have a lot to say about this 1400 mile drive, except that I listened to the audiobook of Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortensen.  It's very good.

 

- Check into the Super 8 in Des Moines, shave, shower and dress in a hurry.  I think I'm having déjà vu. 

- Drive to the church.  Posters up all around and they have my books. 

- A good crowd.  I have to be up on stage, which I don't much like -- I prefer to be closer to the audience.

- Suddenly, I feel exhausted, but I keep going, like a car running on just fumes.

- There are three men in the audience who never seem to smile, no matter how much everyone else laughs. Why is it that my eyes are always drawn to the ones who won't laugh or smile? 

- Questions, and now two of those men perk up.

- "When are the Pakistanis going to stop killing each other?"   When they re-humanize each other, especially the Sunnis and Shias.  Didn't I just talk about lazy tribalism and re-humanization?

- "So, are you saying we now need to re-humanize Bin Laden?"  No, but you could re-humanize people that you associate with Bin Laden, who have nothing to do with him.

- This was the first time I ever experienced anything resembling cynicism or hostility from the audience!

- The signing queue is long and the people who have bought books are very friendly.

- Someone tells me that the hostile men were part of a group which recently had organized a speaking event for an Arab woman who had converted to Christianity, and they had advised the local police that she was in danger from terrorists. The police laid on a visible presence at her talk, with many officers and flashing lights on patrol cars -- but this was pure theatrics, to create some excitement.  The possibility of Islamic terrorists coming to Iowa to kill this woman was rather remote.  (I personally have chatted with Salman Rushdie in a public place where his presence was advertised months in advance; he wheeled his own suitcase; there was not a hint of police or security in sight.)  It seems that some people are desperate to keep us all in a polarized state.

- I know this is ridiculous, I can't be bothered with a restaurant -- I get a carry-out from a Long John Silver's drive-through and eat it in my armchair, feet up, watching 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report'. 

- Sleep.

 

 

 

Friday 1 May

 

- Awake and breakfast briefly.

- The Prius needs another oil change.  I noticed a Firestone dealer nearby.  I drive there, call Hertz and it's done while I wait. 

- Depart for Minneapolis/St Paul -- only 250 miles.  I used to live there!

- Nothing to report.

- Drive around Eden Prairie, which I lived in during the period 1996 - 2000, but I barely recognize it.  I see that the new owner of my house has whitewashed the deck. 

- Head for St Paul -- I don't want to be late. 

- The two Ministers have a delightful house on the campus of the University of St Thomas -- what a lovely place to live.   

- Rob is very welcoming.  I get changed quickly and he takes me to a family eight-year-old birthday party.  Everyone is very nice.  I only meet nice people on this trip.

- Then to the church.

- I'm checking e-mail in the Rev's office, and I keep hearing people outside the door, in the lobby, saying they are here for the talk.  They are directed upstairs.

- It's time to go up.  The place is practically full!

- My old boss from Minneapolis is in the front row.  Now here's the funny thing -- I'm in a room full of strangers, and he's the only one who makes me feel nervous, as if it's going to affect my performance review.

- The talk goes well and I stay for a while signing books and chatting to people. 

- Yet again, a woman says that she will have her book club read Unimagined, and I offer to attend the discussion session by video-Skype.

- Back at the two Ministers' house, stay up late discussing the nature of Life, the Universe and Everything.  I'm glad we got that sorted.

- Retire to bed.

 

 

 

Saturday 2 May

 

- By the time I'm up, one Minister has already left for the Farmers' Market and the other has done nearly two hours of Tai Chi, Yoga, meditation and writing.  He then makes me breakfast.

- Talk a little while, then I head off. 

- When I lived in Minnesota, there was a delightful woman called Ann in Mastercuts in Eden Prairie Mall, who always cut my hair.  In fact, she had cut my hair prior to the author photo in the book jacket.  I drive to Eden Prairie Mall to seek her out and give her an inscribed copy of my book.  She is there!  But she says it's her day off -- she only came in because someone called in sick!  This is a wonderful synchronicity.  I'm so glad I did this.

- Call my old friend Virgil and drive out to Belle Plaine to see him and his wife Lubna.  He has bought a parcel of natural woodland by a river, which he uses just to hang out.  He takes me there to show me.  It is extraordinarily beautiful and peaceful.  He'd build a cabin here, but it's only five miles from his house. 

- Lubna gives me a delicious lunch and then reluctantly I depart for Madison. 

- Only 259 miles to drive, to the home of my old friend Bill Wellman -- featured in the book, he was an Exchange student from Illinois to Stirling University (Goldman in the hardback, changed to Wellman with his permission in the paperback).  I hadn't seen him since he left the university in 1984, his address book was stolen at Glasgow Airport, and we lost touch (I tried unsuccessfully to find him when they invented the Internet), until he found me through the book!

- I have a delightful evening with his family in their century-old house. 

 

 

 

Sunday 3 May

 

- It's a sunny and pleasant day.

- We go to First Unitarian Madison for the 11 am service, followed by my talk.  The audience is appreciative.

- This building is architected by Frank Lloyd Wright.  Bill and I ask an Australian woman, who is taking photos of the building, to take our photo, and I also sell her a signed copy of Unimagined for twenty Australian dollars (hey, I'm going back there this August, for the Byron Bay Writers' Festival).


I am thinking: 'She's a definite sale.'

- A visit to Whole Foods (I buy more of that chocolate covered ginger), lunch, and a pleasant evening spent at home. 

- Sigh, it's nearly all over.

Week 6: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

Monday 20 April

 

- Awake at leisure.  (My host, Leslie, works and sleeps late in her upstairs suite.)

- Raid kitchen and have juice, cheese and crackers out by the pool.

- The sun and warmth feel good!

- Not sure about the pool -- is it in use, or does it need cleaning?

- The perfectly designed garden has artificial grass -- no mowing required.

- Relax all day.  

 

 

- Change clothes and proceed to church in Scottsdale.

 

 

- My hosts meet me and take me to an early dinner in a sandwich bar at a nearby mall.  Join other people there. 

- Return to church for my event.  It is well-attended and goes well. This is the first time I give my talk without my jacket on.   

- In the audience, I'm pleased to meet Dilara Hafiz, the author of 'The American Muslim Teenager's Handbook'.  We have corresponded, but never met.  She gives me a signed copy.  I'm getting this book about 30 years too late.  If only ...

- Drive back to Leslie's house, quite content with the day. 

 

 

Tuesday 21 April

 

- Arise early-ish and swim in the pool (Leslie confirmed that it was clean).

- Hit the road towards California. 

- Enter the desert freeway.  The fuel gauge shows 2 of the 10 bars. Fine -- I'll buy gas at the first opportunity.

- The sun is blazing and it looks hot out there. 

- The fuel gauge goes to 1 bar.  Still no gas station, but there'll be one soon.

- The sky is a gorgeous blue, with just a few light streaks of cloud.

- The fuel gauge's final bar starts flashing.  Fine -- that means I have 3 gallons left (according to the handbook).  That's a range of 120 miles.  But I WILL buy gas at the first opportunity.

- The external temperature readout shows 95F.

- Multiple warning lights appear, indicating a TOTAL SYSTEMS FAILURE, but which I know from South Carolina means I'm out of gas.  This is so not fair!  I've only done about 30 miles on the freeway, since I had 2 bars, and I never had a chance to buy gas.  And that handbook is so wrong, or the fuel gauge must be faulty.

- Proceed on battery power to a rest area about 5 miles further along.  The battery gauge shows a rapid diminution of charge.  I barely make it.

- The rest area has only rest rooms and vending machines.  They don't vend gas.

 

What's the plural of Prius?  Priuii?

 

- Phone Hertz and tell them I'm out of gas.  It will cost me $77 to have someone come out. 

- Wait patiently in a shaded shelter and enjoy the magnificent view.

- A gentleman named Bubba arrives and puts gas in my car.  I give him a signed copy of my book.

 

 

 

 

- Proceed towards California.

- Pass agricultural inspection point.

- Notice many wind turbines.

 

 

- Arrive in LA area.

 

 

 

 

- Santa Barbara is beautiful, as is the church.

 

  

 

 

 

- Arrive in my shorts and get changed in a rest room.

- People are arriving ... it's a big crowd!   I hear a voice call: "We need more chairs!"  Those are the perfect words I want to hear. 

- But the new sound system is terrible.  There's an echo.  I see many pained faces in the audience.  This is not going well.

 

 

- I abandon the sound system and go to stand in amongst the audience.  They turn their chairs towards me, and I rotate slowly whilst I speak.  Fortunately, they do not roast me.  It goes well. 

 

 

- Sign books afterwards.

- My hosts take me to a nice restaurant for dinner, and then back to their house, where I am staying in the guest studio. Their house has beautiful Mediterranean decor.

- I can see why people like California.

 

 

 

Wednesday 22 April

 

- Have breakfast with my hosts.  He makes me pancakes and we have a fascinating conversation.  I could sit here forever ... but I have to go.

- Head out towards El Segundo, where I have a lunch appointment with a reader (who liked my book) and her husband.

- Park at their place of work, a NASA contractor, and they come to pick me up.  Grace points out the 'space junk' on display -- pieces of satellites which fell from the sky. 

- They take me to a delightful restaurant, where we sit outside, and good looking serving staff (who are doubtless trained actors waiting for a role) bring us visually stunning plates of food.

- Grace and Mark are both PhD rocket scientist types.  I am really dragging down the average IQ of our table. 

- Go for a walk around El Segundo, and get a coffee.  Grace tells me that El Segundo is often used in films, to represent a small American town.  It is a beautiful place. 

- Grace gives me a book: 'The Big Sort: Why the Clustering of Like-Minded America Is Tearing Us Apart' by Bill Bishop.  The book's premise is that Americans are choosing to live in communities of like-minded people (politically, socially, religiously, economically), and this is driving polarization rather than national consensus.  I think there is some truth to this.  The people who have come to my talks all seem to be on-board with re-humanization already. 

- Say goodbye and head north, for Pasadena.

 

 

- Arrive in good time, so go to a Starbucks to check e-mail.  I have to parallel park in the street and put money in a meter.  What is this, London?

- The event goes well.  I have to head for San Francisco, but there's no hurry.  A film producer and her daughter take me to a wonderful dinner in a Japanese place.

- After midnight, drive towards San Francisco.  Do about 100 miles, then check into a Super 8 motel.

 

 

Thursday 23 April

 

- Arrive in Bay area and check into Howard Johnson hotel near San Francisco airport.

- Get shaved, showered and changed and head into San Francisco.

- This is my first 'corporate' event, at Headsets.com, Inc -- the leading provider of office telephone headsets in North America. The founder and CEO is Mike Faith, an Englishman, who invited me to speak at his company. 

- I leave the car in a parking garage on Van Ness and proceed one block to the office building. 

- There is real buzz in the air at Headsets.com.  People are arriving and being greeted at the door, given name badges and a drink.  A lovely buffet has been laid on.  This is wonderful.  Mike Faith is really welcoming.  This company has a very positive energy.  People are still working in parts of the office -- I hope that we don't distract them. 

 

 

- I give a shortened version of my talk, whilst standing on a table, to an attentive crowd -- who laugh appreciatively when appropriate.  Smart and nice people!

 

 

- My books sell out immediately and I have many wonderful conversations with a number of people. 

- I leave Headsets.com with a sense of joy and satisfaction.  This was great!

- Dinner in the Howard Johnson hotel and bed.

 

 

Friday 24 April

 

- The hotel has a good breakfast -- plenty of alternatives to refined sugar. 

- No frantic rush this morning -- my next event is also in San Francisco, at the Thoreau Center for Sustainability in the beautiful Presidio National Park. (This is where Star Fleet Headquarters is supposed to be built one day -- I hope that they can get the planning permission.)

- It's a small audience of people who work here, but they are wonderful, warm and appreciative.  All my books sell out. One tall beautiful brunette wants to buy six copies and settles for three.

 

 

- I hit the road towards Oregon, stopping to get my photo taken by the Golden Gate Bridge.  A tall, beautiful, blonde woman obliges.  I think I like California!

 

 

- I try the famous US Highway 101, which hugs the coastline, but it is so slow -- although the views are stunning.  I have such a long way to drive and this will take forever. Reluctantly, I head on to Interstate 5. 

 

       

 

- Somewhere in northern California I check into a hotel and sleep for five hours.

 

 

Saturday 25 April

 

- Hit the road towards Oregon.  Time is short. My event in Salem is at 2 pm!

- Get there with an hour to spare, but the place is closed and the gates are padlocked.

- Starbucks!  Get changed and check e-mail.

- Return at 1:40 pm, just as someone arrives to open up, and with a line of cars waiting to get in.

- After the event, head for Portland and check into the Travelodge.

- Portland has a tram network and it's free in places!  The damn Commies must have taken this place over.

- Visit Powell's -- a famous book shop which occupies an entire city block!

- Have sushi for dinner and walk back to the hotel. 

- I can't go straight to bed.  It's Sunday morning in the UK, and I have 7 interviews between 11 pm and 12:30 am my time, with local BBC radio stations.  I try to remember that it's perfectly fine to say exactly the same things and use exactly the same anecdotes with each station.

- Sleep, exhausted.

 

 

 

 

Sunday 26 April

 

- Sunny and pleasant day.

- Walk into town and have breakfast at an open-air food court in a local market.

- Set-off for Seattle. 

- Head for a Super 8 near the airport, although the GPS seems to think that it is an industrial estate. I turn into a gated dead end wilderness just as she declares, 'You have reached your destination.'  Have to call the hotel to get more helpful directions.

- Drive to beautiful church and deliver talk.

 

 

The tree, the Earth and I are all ONE, like Chief Seattle said.

 

- Afterwards, have sushi again in a wonderful local restaurant.

- Return to Super 8 and sleep well.

 

 

 

Week 5: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

Monday 13 April

 

- The Prius needs an oil change.  I've done about 6,000 miles in it and the 'Maint Reqd' light is on.  Arrange with Hertz to get it done at nearby Firestone facility, here in Houston.

- While I'm waiting for the work to be done, I wonder about going over to the Harley Davidson dealer across the street and taking a look at the machines.

- The street has 10 lanes.

- I look around for a zebra crossing, but there's no sign of one.  The only way to go across the street is to drive. 

- Stop at print shop to order more Unimagined business cards -- I am running out.

- Head for Austin in the afternoon -- a 2.5 our drive.  Austin is much more pedestrian friendly.  Park at the venue and walk to a nearby Starbucks.

- My event has been widely advertised, including being a 'recommended event' in The Austin Chronicle. It is very well-attended. 

- Head back to Houston late at night.

 

 

Tuesday 14 April

 

- A day off!

- Do e-mails all day and advance planning all day. 

- Sleep for the fourth night in the same bed!

 

 

Wednesday 15 April

 

- Collect 1000 more Unimagined busines cards.

- Say goodbye to uncle and family and head for Dallas.

 

Dallas!

 

 

- Arrive at church, which is in a very attractive and pleasant neighborhood, and do e-mail sitting in the walled garden.

- Ask about a nearby Starbucks and walk there.  This is a miracle: something I need in Texas which I can walk to!

- Event was listed in The Dallas Morning News and has a good crowd.  It seems to go well.

 

Early-comers in Dallas

 

- An enthusiastic woman says that she's going to have her book club read Unimagined.  I offer to attend the discussion meeting by video-Skype.  She seems thrilled.

- Use internet connection in church to find a hotel near a Whole Foods.

- Sleep well.

 

 

Thursday 16 April

 

- Stop by Whole Foods to buy more chocolate and nuts.  Love the chocolate-covered ginger pieces!

- Hit the road to Oklahoma City.

- Nothing to report.

- Arrive at church.  Many posters up around the place, and two newspaper articles taped to notice board, about this event. 

 

 

 

 

- The event is well-attended and goes well -- what else can I say?

- Depart in direction of Kansas City.

- Somewhere along the way, when I feel tired, check into a Super 8. 

- Yes, in the hierarchy of the cheapest hotels, Super 8 is now my favourite. (When I had a corporate job, I was Platinum at Sheraton ... sigh ...)

 

 

Friday 17 April

 

- Depart for Kansas City.

- Nothing to report.

 

Did I take a wrong turn?

 

 

- Arrive at Shawnee Mission Church in the late afternoon.

- Leave my smart clothes in the office.

- Go to rendezvous at Chinese restaurant with fellow-writer Maril Crabtree (we have corresponded for years, but have never actually met).

- Event goes well and is well-attended.

 

With Maril Crabtree

 

 

- Say goodbye to Maril and head in direction of Denver (600 miles). 

- Force myself to do at least 100 miles, before checking into a Super 8 in the early hours.

- At the front desk, she laughs.  "Denver is buried in a snowstorm.  They are having one inch an hour.  You ain't getting to Denver."

- Troubled sleep.

 

 

Saturday 18 April

 

- Just a few hours later, put on long trousers (as opposed to shorts worn previous day) and come down to breakfast in the lobby. She is watching the Weather channel.

- Impressive (and troublesome) scenes of Denver buried in snow.

- Should I abandon Denver and proceed to Phoenix?  Internet shows that snow will end by noon.  Go back to bed for two more hours.

- Head for Denver. 

- It is sunny and clear most of the way, until I cross into Colorado.

- Evidence of recent snow, but the roads are clear.

 

Approaching Denver

 

 

- Various signs say that I must use snow chains on my tyres if the lights are flashing.  "Illegal to proceed without proper equipment."  Please lights, don't flash.

- Arrive in Golden CO with 90 minutes to spare. 

- Quick meal in modest Chinese restaurant.

- The event is well-attended and goes well.

- Now, depart on the longest single drive of my life: Denver to Phoenix -- 820 miles.

- Cover 100 miles, before checking into a Super 8, somewhere in Colorado.

 

 

Sunday 19 April

 

- Sunny and beautiful day; snow on the mountains.

- Drive all day: Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona.  The terrain slowly changes.

 

 

 

 

- Take a break to drive along Meteor Crater Road.  The site is closed (it's after 6 pm) and the crater is completely fenced off, but the road is uncannily silent and the terrain makes me think of Mars for some reason.  This is where they'll film the fake manned human landing on Mars. 

 

Landed my shuttlecraft on Mars

 

- Arrive in Scottsdale and proceed to home of Mike(friend from GE)'s mother's friend's house. 

- It's an extraordinary house, with unique decor.

- Indian takeaway and late conversation.

- Sleep soundly. 

 

 

Week 4: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

Monday 6 April

 

- Spend all day in Starbucks doing e-mails and this damn blog.

- My event at Clearwater goes well.  People seem very pleased with it.

- Early night. 

 

 

 

Tuesday 7 April

 

- Awake very early and depart before 6 am on 530 mile drive to Fairhope, Alabama.

- Florida seems a familiar and friendly place (from being a tourist so many times) but I've never been to Alabama.  Drive at precisely the speed limit.

- Fairhope is a beautiful place, by the Gulf of Mexico.

- Arrive at church and learn that I've gained an hour!

- The Rev's wife shows me to a delightful, luxury guest townhouse which they are giving me for the night.  If only I was staying here longer!

 

 

- I have a couple of hours to spare.

- Buy gas from a gas station with old fashioned pumps with mechanical meters.

- Go to sea food restaurant and eat delicious sea food gumbo.  Have the tuna steak put in a takeaway box.

 

 

- 7:20 pm -- there are only three cars in the car park for my 7:30 pm event.

- They all arrive in a surge at the last moment, and some a few minutes late.  It's quite a big crowd.

 

 

- Return to townhouse and sleep soundly.   

 

 

 

Wednesday 8 April

 

- Awake at leisure.  Eat tuna steak for breakfast.

- Spend a little time at the water, before leaving Fairhope.

 

 

 

 

 

- Head for New Orleans.

- There is something upbeat about New Orleans, although you can see signs of the flood.  The road surfaces are awful.  Some of the houses have been restored or re-built, others are just shells.

- Eat seafood gumbo in a seafood restaurant.  Have the crawfish etouffee packed to go.

- The church has been demolished -- they bought the house next door and are operating out of that.

 

 

 

 

- The Rev takes me for a drive around the neighborhood. He shows me where the levees broke, just a few hundred yards away.  They did not have adequate metal spike reinforcement. 

- The little house church is packed for my session, which goes well.  People are very nice.

 

 

- Afterwards, I head for Baton Rouge, reconnoiter location of radio studio for morning NPR interview, and check-in to hotel.

- Eat the crayfish etouffee and save the sweet potatoes for breakfast.

 

 

 

Thursday 9 April

 

- Eat the sweet potatoes for breakfast.

- Check out and go to WRKF studio for NPR interview with Jim Engster. He is a very gracious host. 

- Hit the road to Memphis for my evening event.

- Drive through Mississippi.  

 

 

 

- Suddenly realize I need a restroom very urgently (crayfish etouffee?).  The 'town' of Enid in Mississippi has one little privately-owned gas station, with a rest room with a dirt floor and no wash basin.  Nonetheless, I am very grateful for this.  I have wet wipes with me. 

- Get to Memphis and settle down in Starbucks near the library. 

- Cindy Sakaan, the Director of Religious Education at the local church, joins me and takes me to the venue:  Memphis Central Library.  This is a very impressive building.

- Event goes well.

- After the event, she invites me to dinner at her sister-in-law's place: Raffe's Deli & Beer Garden.  The Middle Eastern food is absolutely delicious, as is the non-alcoholic beer I try.  (Regular beer is also available.)  This place is wonderful. 

- Raffe's husband is a Baptist-born American doctor who, as an intern, worked on Elvis's resuscitation team. 

- Cindy tells me that, as Director of Religious Education, she arranged for the children to visit different places of worship.  One local Baptist minister, in his sermon, said: 'There are three groups of people going straight to Hell:  
1. Gays;  2. Murderers;  3. Muzzzlems'

 

 

- Retire to bed at Knights Inn, near the airport.  I love the sound of aircraft on final approach. 

 

 

 

Friday 10 April

 

- Eat baklava for breakfast.

- Check out of Knights Inn and head for National Civil Rights Museum.  It's converted from the Lorraine Motel, where Martin Luther King was shot.  'You can kill the dreamer, but you can't kill the dream.' 

 

 

 

 

- This place brings tears to my eyes.  What these people went through is heartbreaking, including the black teenagers determined to walk into that white school to be enrolled.  What incredible courage!

- The progress which has been made in just half-a-lifetime makes me proud to be American.  Oh wait ... I'm not.  Darn. 

- Head for Little Rock.  As soon as I Ieave the museum, I cross a metal bridge and I'm in Arkansaw. 

 

 

- Stop at KFC all-you-can-eat buffet. Some of these customers really should not be in an all-you-can-eat establishment, for their own good.

- Little Rock has some interesting hills.  The church has a beautiful wooded garden.

 

 

- I'm being hosted here, by a delightful, intelligent, informed, articulate couple.  They are vegetarians and will be cycling 59 miles tomorrow to a campsite, and then cycling back 59 miles the next day.  I'm so pleased to be having a dialogue with typical Americans.

- Event goes well.  Return to the house and retire to bed.

 

 

 

Saturday 11 April

 

- Depart at 7:30 am towards Baton Rouge, a distance of 370 miles.  My hosts are heading out on their bikes at 8 am.

- Start listening to audiobook enroute: 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

- Stop at a McDonalds drive-thru.

- All I say is: 'Do you have decaff?'

- The electronic display indicates that I just ordered a Bacon Double Cheese Burger.

- This next part is too complicated for a skeleton blog.

- Finally proceed to last counter to collect coffee. She hands me the coffee.  'What kind of coffee is this?'  'It's a Regular.'  Ye Gods!

- The Baton Rouge church has an electronic display outside, advertising my event!

 

 

 

 

- The event is very well-attended.

- Afterwards, drive the 275 miles to my uncle's house in Houston.  This is an ordeal, as I am exhausted.  Twice I stop for a 2 minute nap. 

- Arrive at 3 am and sleep soundly.

 

 

 

Sunday 12 April

 

- Sleep until noon, but it's okay -- I don't have to check out!

- Houston event is a virtual disaster.  It's Easter Sunday and there doesn't seem to have been much publicity.  There are only seven members of the audience I'm not related to.  Still, they are receptive and I give them a good performance.

- Afterwards, my uncle and his wife take me to an Indian buffet restaurant for dinner.

- Sleep soundly.

Week 3: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

 www.unimagined.org

MONDAY 30 MARCH

 

- Phone rings at 5:50 am -- oh, it's the alarm clock in the phone.

- Feels like a job interview day or something like that.

- Wear smart clothes and step out to car at 7 am.

- Cell phone rings.  The BBC want me in the Washington studio at 8 am, for a sound check. S--t!  Last I heard, they wanted me at 8:20 am.

- About 25 miles to drive -- cousin told me to use HOV ('high occupancy vehicle') lanes, as I'm in a hybrid car.

- Join freeway to Washington. It's crawling along.  The HOV lanes are behind a concrete barrier -- they are flying to Washington.  How was I supposed to get in the HOV lane?

- Take next exit, and follow signs to freeway; notice separate exit for HOV lanes. Fly to Washington.

- Arrive in town, traffic slow and slightly intimidating.  

- Find studio and drive down into the nearest parking ramp.  It's valet. 

- Leave the car with him and return to surface, hurrying to studio.

- The hybrid car has an electronic, wireless proximity key ... which is in my jacket pocket. Run back and give parking valet the key.

- Arrive at studio; documentary film maker is here; local staff very nice; interview on BBC World Service Outlook programme goes well.  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p002mcng

 

 

 

 

 

- Buy Washington travel pass and take subway to Rosslyn.  Meet a chap from Institute for Global Engagement: http://www.globalengage.org/  Go for a coffee with him and talk about peace and dialogue initiatives.

- Travel on subway to Federal Center SW; sit in Starbucks and do e-mail.

- Chap from Voice of America comes to meet me and takes me to the studio.

- Have an excellent television interview in a studio which looks like a library, with a pair of armchairs. 

- Rush out and take cab to Heritage Foundation -- a very smart building.  http://www.heritage.org/

- Have a very engaging meeting with Pakistan/Afghanistan expert.  Fascinating discussion on use of drone attack aircraft and civilian casualties.

- Walk to Union Station.  Very impressive architecture.  Very nice Chinese orange chicken in the food court.

- Subway back to DuPont Circle.

- Sit in Starbucks doing e-mail.

- I am so tired ... and I still have to do my talk this evening.

- Recover car from valet parking ($11 for entire day!) and drive to Washington Ethical Society.

 

 

- It's very busy and it goes well.  They sell out of their copies of Unimagined. 

- Drive back to Virginia in state of exhaustion/elation. What an amazing day!

- Out cold.

 

 

TUESDAY 31 MARCH

 

- My next event is on Wednesday evening in Charleston.  I have two days to get there and this feels like a day off!

- This car is amazing.  I last fueled in Connecticut, then drove to Richmond VA, Woodbridge VA, Washington central, Washington north, Woodbridge VA.  The fuel gauge has 10 green bars, which begin to disappear as the fuel is consumed.  When the last bar starts flashing, you have three gallons left -- in this car, that's 120 miles.  Had driven to/from Washington DC with light flashing.

-  Refuel the car and head south.

- Whole Foods in Richmond VA.  Buy supplies of healthy food and water for car: fruit, nuts, vegetable chips.

- Go to favorite restaurant in Richmond from corporate days and eat favorite dish, the crispy flounder -- have to pay for it now!

- Forgot to buy chocolate in Whole Foods.  You can't drive hundreds of miles without chocolate.  Regular American chocolate is just awful -- so full of sugar.  Return to Whole Foods and buy consignment of chocolate. 

- Head south towards Charleston in the darkness.

- About halfway, pass Carolina Outlet Mall in North Carolina. This will do -- I need to buy some new Haggar trousers. Will go first thing in the morning.

- Pull into McDonalds car park, get internet access, book room in nearby Master's Inn, Selma.

- Sleep soundly.

 

 

 

WEDNESDAY 1 APRIL

 

- Eat leftover flounder for breakfast.

- Go to Haggar store in outlet mall and buy three pairs of Haggar trousers.

- Check e-mail in Starbucks; buy venti decaff latte; hit the road south.

- Have an idle thought.  An old episode of 'Space 1999'.  Paul and the Commander are about to take off in an Eagle space transporter.  Paul says, 'I'm getting warning lights on four back-up systems.  I think we should go on.'  The Commander agrees. That reminds me of this car -- it's like a spacecraft. 

- Idle thoughts are the most dangerous.  Do not have idle thoughts!

- A few minutes later, the car starts to lose power.  Warning lights begin to flash. 

- I take the next exit, Holly Hill SC, hoping to make it to a gas station -- which would be a better place to wait for help than the freeway (rest rooms, food etc). 

- Car is struggling.

- Reprogram GPS to take me to nearest gas station:  'Joe's Store'. 

- Rural South Carolina: modest houses; tractors; pick-up trucks.

- Car completely fails.  I barely manage to get it off the road, onto the grass verge.  Multiple warning lights across the board:  a red triangle with an exclamation mark; a picture of a red car (as opposed to a green car) with an exclamation mark; a picture of an engine with 'CHECK'; a written instruction 'MAINT REQD'; the last fuel bar is also flashing.  All of these lights indicate a TOTAL SYSTEMS FAILURE. 

 

 

 

-  Two African-American men in a pick-up truck stop alongside and offer to help.  I thank them, but say that I have a TOTAL SYSTEMS FAILURE and only Hertz can help me.

- Call Hertz emergency number.  She takes details, then instructs me to drive to a gas station and put gas in the car.  I explain that the car won't go anywhere and in, any case, it's not a gas problem -- I have a TOTAL SYSTEMS FAILURE.  She asks me to walk away from the car (with the proximity key) and then try again.  No luck.  There are all the warning lights, and it won't move.

- She asks me where I am.  I give the address from the GPS and the mailbox number of the nearest house.

- We spend a long time figuring out what is to be done.  She says that local garages and Hertz locations are now closing. I tell her of my speaking engagement in Charleston at 8 pm.  Eventually she says that they will have a taxi pick me up and take me to Charleston.  'What is your nearest town?'  I tell her I'm in Holly Hill, SC.  She struggles to find a taxi firm which will come here.

- Eventually, she locates a taxi firm in Summerville SC, but they do not know where my location is, despite me giving them a full address (House number, Old County Road, Holly Hill SC).  Hertz arranges a conference call with the taxi firm -- I am supposed to explain to them where I am.

-  I take cell phone to nearby house and ring door bell.  Apologize to retired-looking white couple who answer the door, and ask him to explain to taxi firm where we are.  His conversation on the phone with them is comical.  He expresses low confidence that the taxi firm will be able to find me.   

- I have nice conversation with them; tell them what I'm doing.  'Are you a Muzzzlem?'

-  Start to collect together my stuff in the car, which had been like one giant suitcase.

 

 

- African-American man in pick-up truck stops and offers help.  I thank him, but I have a TOTAL SYSTEMS FAILURE and Hertz are taking care of it.

- Bob from house comes out, offers me the rest room (I already went in the neighboring field) and has a nice chat with me.  I feel compelled to give him and his wife a signed copy of my book.

 

 

- Abandon the car with the keys in it.  Taxi arrives after one hour and takes me to Charleston Airport with all my stuff, including bags of food from Whole Foods.  I look like a 'bag lady'. Hertz give me a Mazda 6 -- it's a very conventional car.

- In my hotel room, on the internet, research warning light problems with Toyota Prius.  Apparently, a computer re-boot would have cleared the problems ('hold down the Power button for 45 seconds').

- I want my Prius back!

- Call Hertz and explain.  She says that the Prius would have been taken to the nearest main location -- probably Charleston Airport, and gives me the office number.

 

 

 

THURSDAY 2 APRIL

 

- Eat Red Lobster pizza leftovers for breakfast.

- Call Hertz and speak to the manager, Scott. He says he'll see what he can do.

- Scott calls back. 'We recovered the car. It's here.'  Pause.  'It was out of gas.'

- I explain to Scott that I'm not an idiot.  I never got any warning that it was out of gas.  Plus, what about all those other lights, indicating a TOTAL SYSTEMS FAILURE.

- Scott says that I can have the Prius back. 

- Go to Hertz at airport. 

-  Explain to desk that I am not an idiot.

-  Explain to Hertz man in car lot that I am not an idiot. 

- Get Prius back and head for Georgia.   

- Very happy to get my Prius back.

 

 

- Long drive to Marietta area, near Atlanta.  Am being hosted.  Arrive at host's house, shower, change and get taken to Thai restaurant for dinner with a few folks.

- At Marietta Unitarian church, the place is packed and the session goes very well.

 

 

 

'No hard feelings over Guantanamo, Dick.  How are you enoying retirement?'

 

- Return to host's house and sleep soundly.  

 

 

FRIDAY 3 APRIL

 

- Have delightful breakfast conversation with host's husband -- a former US Army Major, and now a consultant. 

- Depart on short drive to Atlanta.

- Buy a few things from Target, eat leftover Thai food in car, sit in Barnes & Noble on Cumberland Parkway (I used to come here all the time, when in Atlanta on business) and do e-mail. 

- Head for former GE colleague's house at 2:30 pm.  He is working from home today.

- Nap on their sofa, then get ready for event.

- Event goes well.  

- Afterwards, go to his friend's house for dinner party.

- They ask me to do a 'short version' of my talk for all the guests.  I am drained, but comply.     

- Sleep soundly.

 

 

SATURDAY 4 APRIL

 

- Awake earlyish and get all my stuff together for Florida departure.

- Put on shorts and T-shirt in anticipation.  I associate Florida with vacation.

- Drive to Clearwater, to home of former colleague.

- Dinner in Red Lobster, then I borrow internet connection and place myself in Super 8 motel. 

- I booked a no-smoking room, but they have only smoking available.  Never mind -- it's late and I'm tired.

 

 

 

SUNDAY 5 APRIL

 

- They have wholemeal bagels available in the continental breakfast (along with the usual sugar doughnuts etc, which I won't eat).  Excellent.

- Dress smartly, with tie, and drive to Saint Petersburg church.  I am listed as giving the 'sermon'. 

- They are all so casually dressed, I discard the tie.

- Give a very short version of my talk, as the 'sermon'.

- Stay for lunch.

- My next event is not until Monday night.  I feel as if I'm on vacation.

- Lie down for a few minutes in the hotel room.  Sleep for three hours.

- So to St Pete's Beach and swim in the sea. This feels great!

 

 

 

 

 

 

- Short dinner in Red Lobster.

- Sleep soundly.

 

 

 

 

Week 2: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

MONDAY 23 MARCH

 

- Throat feels better.

- Waffles for breakfast from waffle maker in restaurant.

- Sad to leave Ramada Inn -- seems to be a haven of tranquility.

 

 

- Head for Bethlehem PA.

- Sunny, many trees.  Spot Amish wagon on adjacent road.

- Check in to Quality Inn, Allentown.  Modest place -- busy with families. 

- Room is clean and has view of local park.

- Have to move table across room to get laptop near electrical socket.

- I need to eat some proper food (vegetables and fruit).  Go to Old Country Buffet and secure admittance for $8-95.

- There is something frantic and chaotic about this place.

- Eat corn on the cob, green beans and carrots (with grilled fish) and then fruit.

- Just an observation:  many of the people here do not need to be exposed to an 'all you can eat' buffet. 

- Another observation: so much waste -- food piled onto plates and then left.

- Return to Quality Inn.

- Get ready and drive to Bethlehem.  Pleasant, wide tree-lined streets.  Parallel park outside church.

- Event goes well.  Wonderful reception.

- Return to Quality Inn and sleep well.

 

 

TUESDAY 24 MARCH

 

- White bagels for breakfast in Quality Inn.

- Depart for Connecticut.

- Take a wrong turn and end up in busy suburb of New York City.  So many signs in Spanish.  Takes forever to get back on track. 

- Will stay in the house of the mother of a friend/colleague from GE.

- The street address sounds quite ordinary -- it's in the GPS.

- This isn't a street -- it's a country lane.  Houses set back far from the road, nestling in the trees.

- Oh my God!  This house (mansion) is amazing.  The architecture is stunning and unique.

- Sandra is very welcoming.  House is a labyrinth -- multiple levels and directions.  Guest suite looks out at forest.

 

 

- Relax for a short while, then get ready for New Haven event.

- Drive there with Sandra.

- Event goes well. 

- Afterwards, go to Japanese restaurant with Sandra.  She tries to pay, but it's the least I can do.  I'm saving a fortune staying with her in the CT/NYC area (potentially for four nights).

- Stay up late, checking e-mail, chatting. 

- Retire to guest suite. 

- Sleep soundly.

 

 

WEDNESDAY 25 MARCH

 

- Awoken by UK cell phone at 6 am -- voice-mail from a company that wants a reference for someone who used to work for me.   Thank God they didn't call at 9 am their time.

- Make the call back to them by Skype (not video, as I'm not presentable!). 

- Lazy morning in magnificent house.

- Depart for Concord, MA.

- Stop at Starbucks to check e-mail on their network (the one I bought a subscription for at Heathrow).

- BBC News website article is out!  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7964497.stm

- E-mails start pouring in.

- Stop answering e-mails -- hurry to Concord MA.

- Event is well-attended and goes well.

 

 

- Plan is to drive three hours back to Connecticut.

- A charming and pleasant woman says, 'You don't need to drive back to Connecticut tonight.  My husband and I would love it if you stay with us.'

- Agree.

- Follow her in pitch darkness to their farmhouse.

- Stay up for a while chatting, then retire to bed.

 

 

THURSDAY 26 MARCH

 

-  Arise early and depart quietly without disturbing hosts (as agreed). 

- Two hairy brown cattle watch lazily as hybrid car trundles quietly along country lane.

 

 

 

- Thank God for GPS.

- Head back for Connecticut.

- Stop at Starbucks to answer e-mails.

- Stop at Target in some unremarkable town to buy training shoes.

- Return to Sandra's house in early afternoon.

- Have quick late lunch of sushi.

- Shave, shower, change for NYC event.

- Drive to South Norwalk station, park car, buy off-peak return ticket to Grand Central Station.

- Enjoy comfortable ride into New York.

- Talk to early thirties man sitting next to me.  Tell him about my tour.  'Wow!'

- It's raining in NYC.  Umbrellas everywhere.

- Walk thirty blocks to All Souls Church on Lexington and 80th.  There's a huge poster about my event outside!

- Arrive at 6:55 pm, in good time for 7:30 pm event.  People are pouring in already!

- Documentary maker is here also.

- There is plentiful food and drink.

- The Rev tells me that they have the event starting at 7 pm!  No time to rest.

- The event goes well; people laugh; the documentary maker laughs too.

 

 

 

- There is a youngish African-American woman at the back; her clothes indicate socio-economic disadvantage; she looks bored.

- People ask interesting questions.

- Finally the African-American woman makes a comment.  'A black person can't rent an apartment in Paterson, New Jersey, but Mid-Eastern men can, and then they crash airplanes into buildings.'

- I try to answer that this is probably a socio-economic issue -- the hijackers had lots of money.

- The Rev suggests that we can wrap up now. (She is also African-American.)

- The young woman retorts: 'What? I'm not allowed to have free speech?  Isn't this America?'

- I sign books.  They all sell out. People gather around and ask me many questions.

- Finally, I get to eat something -- an English woman (art dealer) brings me a plate of food.

- Options: hurry back to Grand Central Station and take late train back to Connecticut, or stay in Manhattan.

- Log into Rev's office computer and secure reasonably-priced room in Radisson Lexington -- pay a few dollars extra for a deluxe room with king-size bed.

- Walk over there; check e-mail in Starbucks en-route.

- It's not raining now; buy delicious lamb and rice from Arab street vendor.

- Check-in to hotel, assigned room on 16th floor.

- Room is small and has what looks like a crushed cookie on the carpet, and hairs on the toiler seat.  Ugh!

- Ask for replacement room, and given similar compact, bare room on 4th floor, but it looks clean.

- Sleep soundly.

 

 

 

FRIDAY 27 MARCH

 

- Awake.

- Hang on a minute -- this can't be a 'deluxe' room.  It's tiny and the bed is just a double.

- Ask the housekeeper in the hallway.  Sadly, tiredly, she confirms: 'No, that's a standard room.'

- Maintain absolute calm as I explain to pleasant, professional young woman at Front Desk that I paid extra for a deluxe room.

- She gives me breakfast voucher and late checkout (3 pm). 

- Have coffee, orange, poached eggs and toast in American diner of hotel.

- Walk to Paul Simon (the singer-songwriter)'s offices on Broadway (by prior arrangement).  (I paid a fee to quote Paul Simon lyrics in my book.)

- Juanita is wonderful and very welcoming - gives me a guided tour.

- Paul Simon's personal office is very large and very tasteful.

- Another office has a huge map of the world his sister-in-law painted on the wall -- it is stunning.  I stare at it for ages. 

- Juanita gives me some Paul Simon CDs and takes pictures of me in Paul's office -- I agree not to publish these in my blog.

- Paul does not come by, alas, but he does phone in whilst I'm there.

- Walk over to The Moth office.  http://www.themoth.org/   I worked with these people at the Perth Writers' Festival and did a Moth event.

- Vacate room at 3 pm, walk to Grand Central Station, buy decaff venti latte and cake at Starbucks, take 3:34 train to South Norwalk.

- Drive back to Sandra's house; dinner with Michael and his wonderful family.

- Sleep well in guest suite.

 

New York

 

Connecticut

 

 

SATURDAY 28 MARCH

 

- Awake early.

- Spend time re-gathering personal effects from around Sandra's house and making sure nothing forgotten.

- Depart on 400 mile drive to Glen Allen (Richmond area) VA.

- Arrive in good time, get taken to dinner by Rev and some volunteers, in Chinese restaurant. 

- Event goes well.

- Use Internet; secure room in Sheraton Richmond, where I used to stay on business many times; right next to my old company.

- Put Sheraton (Starwood) card on counter and get a Tower room.

 

'Welcome back, Mr Ahmad.'

 

 

SUNDAY 29 MARCH

 

- Awake in Sheraton.  Feels so comfortably familiar.

- Have favorite breakfast in Sheraton restaurant -- except that I have to pay for it now!

- Go for walk around grounds of ex-employer.  I always enjoyed being here.

- Drive to Woodbridge, VA, to cousin's house.

- Have nice dinner there.

- Prepare clothes for early morning departure to Washington DC.

- Sleep late and a little apprehensive.

Week 1: 'Unimagined' US Road Trip -- skeleton blog

www.unimagined.org

MONDAY 16 MARCH

-         Taxi to airport at 12:20 pm.

-         Terminal 5 – first time.

-         Check-in immediate at Fast Bag Drop – maybe 2 minutes to process.

-         Security quite thorough – about 7 minutes, including queue.

-         Sit in shopping mall on air-side, join WiFi hotspot network which (it says) operates in McDonalds and Starbucks.  Should be good for US road trip.

-         Board BA 299 painlessly. Plenty of luggage storage space.  I have attaché case and very small laptop bag.

-         Service, seat, food – all lovely.

-         Staff all wonderful – friendly and dignified.

-         Make notes for my speaking events.

-         Nap.

-         Arrive Chicago on time at 7 pm.

-         Immigration queue well-managed and very short.

-         INS officer is pretty Hispanic woman called Rodriguez.  She asks me thorough questions, sees my road trip itinerary, looks at my book (“Cute photo!”), reads my bio on back flap, and then DOES NOT SEND ME TO SECONDARY.  She stamps my passport.  For the first time in several years, I am not sent for additional screening. I have convinced her that I am a writer – not a terrorist.  What a relief!  Has change happened already?

-         Luggage comes quickly.  Waved through by Customs.

-         Hertz shuttle to their compound.  She confirms that they are giving me a hybrid car, Toyota Prius, as requested. Please God, let it be a nice colour.

-         It’s metallic black – perfect. 

-         This is a Star Fleet shuttle craft.  Spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how it starts.  It’s incredible.

-         Drive to Chicago O’Hare Garden Hotel, using the MapQuest directions I had printed.

-         They have my boxes from Amazon.com – all the equipment for this adventure:

GPS

US cell phone

Digital camera

Digital voice recorder (to make book notes in car)

Car charger for phone

New high tech rechargeable batteries for camera (I brought own US charger with me)

Ab roller – for hotel room exercise.  (Will return with six-pack abs)

Audio book – ‘Eat, Pray, Love’

Five copies of my book to give away

-         Shirts are really creased – ugh, will I have to iron them?

-         Spend time working out how all this new stuff works.

-         Go to bed at 1 am local time.

 

TUESDAY 17 MARCH

-         Did I sleep? Not sure.

-         Arise at 5:30 am.  The road outside is already busy.

-         Complimentary hotel continental breakfast will be served in lobby.  I’m looking forward to croissants and fresh rolls.

-         I can see why it’s free.  It’s little refined sugar doughnuts and white bread. 

-         Walk two blocks to archetypal American diner. 

-         Have omelette, toast and giant hash brown, decaff coffee, orange juice.

-         I will be eating a lot of eggs in diners on my road trip.  It’s okay, the British Egg Council just announced that they’ve discovered that eggs don’t really raise your cholesterol much – and they should know.

-         Install satnav in car.

-         Mill around hotel room.

-         Go for drive to my first venue, to check it out.

-         Return to hotel.

-         Relax in armchair.

-         Sleep.

-         Feel a wave of exhaustion.

-         Hurriedly shower and dress in smart clothes.

-         Drive to venue.

-         Meet Rev Alan Taylor and his delightful family. They take me to dinner. 

-         There’s a problem – due to an illness, there was no publicity.  Due to a death, everyone’s gone to a wake. 

-         The Rev promises me that if I return to Chicago in 40 days, at the end of the tour, he will have the place filled up. (I hate TypePad, for bugs like this, but it's too much trouble to change now.)

-         Freelance local cameraman arrives and films session (see below re documentary).

-         Run through a practice session with the Rev and a limited audience, and discuss content afterwards.  This is very helpful – as this tour is the first time that I’m addressing an American audience.  How different will it be from British and Australian audiences?

-         Sleep.

 

WEDNESDAY 18 MARCH

-         Awake early, skip hotel breakfast, go straight to Mac’s Diner. 

-         In hotel room, rationalise my luggage, so that I need carry only one bag into a hotel, when stay just one night.

-         In hotel, internet can only be reached through two cables in lobby.

-         Try to add credit to my T-mobile US cell phone, on-line. It accepts that I live in country UK, then rejects my post code and demands a zip code.  I enter my old Minneapolis zip code – it goes through, then says the bank declined the transaction.

-         Phone T-mobile on my grey Motorola Razr US cell phone to discuss, reach call centre (possibly in Mexico), complain about this issue and then agree to pay on phone using my American credit card.  Can’t remember all the details of the cousin’s address it is registered to.

-         My black Motorola Razr UK cell phone rings.  It’s a call centre in India, calling urgently to discuss that odd transaction with the incorrect post code.

-         India in left ear, Mexico in right ear.

-         I cancel both transactions, and hang up both phones.  I need to think about this.  T-Mobile want to charge me $1-60 per minute for INCOMING calls from the UK.  That is outrageous.  I might as well pay roaming charges on my UK phone.

-         Slightly cross, pack, shower and depart for Kalamazoo.

-         I don’t like to make sweeping generalizations, but Chicago (possibly Illinois) drivers seem to be very arrogant and aggressive. 

-         Glad to leave the city and hit the highway.  My road trip has begun.

-         Stop at a Starbucks and, using that hotspot membership I bought in Heathrow, successfully have Skype video call with film maker who wants to make documentary about my road trip.  He commissioned the Chicago cameraman to film my first session, and he will join me at some point on the trip.  Skype is amazing -- Skype video calls are like science-fiction-come-true.  I'm going to use Skype as much as possible on this trip, because the cell phone company charges for international calls are extortionate (even for incoming calls). 

-         Arrive in Kalamazoo at house of my brother’s brother-in-law and his wife.

-         Nice to relax – no hurry.

-         Amy says: “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

-         “S--t!”  I forgot the time change.

-         Hurriedly shower and dress in smart clothes.

-         Rev Jill McAllister is wonderful and so welcoming. 

-         Turnout is excellent and American audience all laugh at appropriate points.  (Thank God!)

-         Dinner in restaurant – nachos.

-         Fall asleep instantly.

THURSDAY 19 MARCH

-         Drive to Bloomington, Indiana.  300 miles.  Lots of trees.

-         Check-in to Travelodge.  Nice view of someone’s front porch a few yards from my window.  Keep curtains closed.

-         Shower and change. 

-         Rev Bill Breedon is so welcoming.

-         Nice turnout, wonderful discussion afterwards, including about Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran.  

-         Three of them take me to a bar to eat.

-         Return to Travelodge – fall asleep instantly.

FRIDAY 20 MARCH

-         ‘Deluxe’ free breakfast at Travelodge is somewhat disappointing.

-         Only a short drive today – 66 miles to Indianapolis.

-         Spend two hours in Starbucks en-route, doing e-mail and using the Internet.

-         Not using hotel in Indianapolis.

-         Go to Chinese restaurant. Forget about American portion sizes and over-order.  Place in takeaway box.

-         Go to Walgreens (for bad throat) and Target for a few toiletries.

-         Arrive at All Souls Unitarian Church a little early.  Rev Bruce and Nancy Clear are very welcoming.

-         My talk is in the main hall.  I am too intimidated to stand at the pulpit, so stand at floor level.  

-         Excellent turnout.  Discussion over coffee and cookies in dining hall. Very nice people.

-         Leave at 9 pm.

-         Three hour drive to Columbus, Ohio – I am so tired. Play loud music (Ally McBeal albums in i-Pod connected to car) to stay awake.

-         Travelodge car park is full of huge, intimidating pick-up trucks.  Park hybrid car in-between two of them.

-         Check-in to Travelodge and go to room.

-         My throat hurts and I feel run down.

-         Lift toilet seat.  Ugh – someone has left a deposit. 

-         Inspect room – looks like the room’s been cleaned, but cleaner forgot to clean toilet.  It is 1 am and I cannot be bothered to complain or change rooms.  

-         Eat remains of pad thai and fried fish and crawl into bed.

SATURDAY 21 MARCH

-         Throat hurts.

-         Breakfast is marginally better, but no decaff coffee.

-         Try to make decaff in room.  Ugh – the coffee has not been emptied from last use.

-         It doesn’t work properly anyway.

-         Update blog.

-         I need to get out of here.

-         Drive to Cleveland – Red Roof Inn.

-         Eat a brief meal in Red Lobster.

-         Sleep, with terrible throat.

 

  

SUNDAY 22 MARCH

  

-         Awake with bad throat and aching body.

-         Go to Walgreens pharmacy and buy all sorts of stuff.

-         Vente latte from Starbucks.

-         Go to UU Church of Rocky River.

-         My event is at 9:15 am, before the Sunday service at 10:30.

-         The venue is packed – they are overflowing out the doors.

-         I recover enough to deliver my talk – the audience is wonderful.

-         Return to hotel, pack, and set-off for Bethlehem, PA.

-         My next event is on Monday evening, so it feels like I have two days off.

-         Get as far as Milesburg PA (more than half way), see a sign for Ramada Inn and decide to call it a day.

-         The Ramada Inn is a huge two storey hotel, but the car park has about three cars in it. 

-         Check-in.

-         After Travelodge, this place has an air of dignity and class, but eerily quiet – it’s deserted.  The corridor is the longest I’ve ever seen in a hotel.

-         The room is comfortable and elegant.

-         I want a proper meal – GPS takes me to Twin Kisses restaurant.  It’s a modest structure, with many pick-up trucks outside.  Inside, many heads in baseball caps turn to look at Middle Eastern man in hybrid car with Illinois plates, sitting in car park.

-         I don’t see any credit card signs.  I know that many of these independent places don’t take credit cards. I have only $13 in my wallet.  I don’t want to go in there and, in full earshot of everyone, ask:’Do you take Visa?’

-         They are all watching me, wondering what I am doing.

-         I re-progamme the GPS and drive 20 miles to a Red Lobster.

-         Eat a proper meal of salad and grilled fish, with vegetables.

-         Return to Ramada Inn, write article for BBC News website.

-         Sleep contentedly.