Pakistan's nukes are safe and secure -- but quite unnecessary
Pakistan’s nuclear weapons are quite safe and very difficult for terrorists to get hold of.
You see, they are mobile nuclear missiles, kept on the backs of trucks and disguised as giant beverage bottles.
They are constantly kept on the move, so the terrorists have no idea where they are.
Each nuke can only be operated by use of the special key, which is kept on a chain around the driver’s neck.
But, in addition to the key, you need the Command Codes. These are impossible to locate, being hidden behind the sun visor.
The instruction books are in English, which most terrorists can’t read, and these are safely locked in the glove-box.
For complete protection, each driver keeps a rifle on the passenger seat.
For absolute security, the driver has STRICT instructions to LOCK the cab when going to the rest room at freeway service areas.
So, Pakistan’s nukes are absolutely secure. But, more importantly, they are completely unnecessary.
Pakistan is in a unique position amongst the nuclear powers, in that it doesn’t really need nuclear weapons, and could be a shining example to the whole world by leading the way in unilateral nuclear disarmament.
Here’s the 3-step plan.
1. Pakistan needs to acknowledge that India has nukes because of China, not because of Pakistan. India does not perceive Pakistan as a strategic threat, but only as a persistent and sometimes annoying pain-in-the-butt. India has moved into the 21st century, whereas Pakistan is still stuck in a 1947 mentality -- defining itself only by its separateness from India. It’s a hard pill for macho boys to swallow, that one isn’t perceived as a significant threat, but nothing to be ashamed of.
2. Pakistan needs to agree with India a no-nuclear-first-strike commitment. This should take ten minutes; fifteen minutes if they get Obama to witness it.
3. Pakistan should swiftly dismantle its nuclear weapons, secure in the knowledge that India would never risk global condemnation by launching a nuclear attack against it.
In the new world, global prestige comes from demonstrating integrity, trust and a commitment to peace -- not from showing off your destructive capabilities. The latter was all done in the late nineties, when Pakistan felt it had to prove it could explode nuclear weapons after India successfully tested its own, both countries attracting global condemnation.
Since nuclear weapons do not distinguish between warriors and non-combatants, as well as wreaking hideous destruction on our beloved Earth, they are completely immoral and cannot be used in warfare within Islamic parameters. So, no genuinely Muslim country should have them in the first place, as a matter of principle.
Now, the race should be towards nuclear disarmament -- a race Pakistan could win if it would just grow up. It has plenty of other priorities to focus on, such as universal education, healthcare and a decent standard of living for all of its citizens.
Based on the track record of the kinds of men who attain power in Pakistan, I won’t hold my breath.
But what an opportunity.